I NEED HELP

 

I’m drowning in an ocean 

my own ocean of guilt, misery and selfishness 

that which I promised myself not to become 

I have worn it like a garment 

I stand on a worthless pride 

swimming against all tides

unshaken as my wickedness can be 

all the energies I give isn’t the real me 

hey! don’t envy me 

this isn’t me, I’m not for real

I bask so much in shame 

knowing this negativity is giving me cheap fame 

I try so much not to lust

pushing very hard to be pronounced just

but bitterness and anger have so much consumed me

revenge is a sweat deal 

I wallow still in my poise 

everything seems like a curse 

don’t join me on this table 

nothing is palatable to savor 

I’m drowning in my own ocean of death 

please hear my cries, see my tears 

I’m pleading for mercy 

I need help

5:33pm

9 May 2023